Confession: I’ve been struggling with what to write for this last piece of 2020. I thought about writing something upbeat witty and inspirational to get you pumped for the new year. I also thought about a more somber piece that would cause pause and reflection. I couldn’t quite decide so I’m going to write and we will discover it together.
Disclaimer: 20/20 was not my worse year yet. Before you roll your eyes and stop reading… I only know this in hindsight. It felt horrible and heavy with one scary thing after the other. It was painful with relationship issues. My heart was broken with grief when I lost loved ones. Truth is on the surface it sucked (understatement)
Revelation: About a month ago, I was watching a sermon on favor. It prompted me to examine the year through different lens. Yes, it was painful and there was a lot I wanted to do but couldn’t. BUT, through every heart wrenching, scary, depressing moment, God was very present. He held my sanity. He provided when I thought there wouldn’t be enough for the bills. Let’s get really simple… I am alive and since you are reading this so are you. “The proof of the favor of God on your life is not the absence of attack or ambiguity in your life” S. Furtick.
Rumination: I started to think about what possible good came out of 2020. The more I thought, the more things I could find. I started with the ones that jumped out quickly and as I dug deeper my “good things snowball” began to cascade down the hill of my thoughts and smashed the thought “2020 is the worst year of my life”. I think my most important thing of 2020 was sensing God’s presence anchor me. When I threw a grief party and couldn’t climb out of the hole, God sent a word that brought peace. It was the year I grew a deeper understanding of the Lord as my Shepherd; I shall not lack anything. No, it wasn’t a year I sung, danced or fought through. It was indeed the year I walked through the valley of death’s shadow. I feared a lot but God remained with me teaching me I didn’t need to.
Conclusion: I am looking forward to 2021, not because I think the stroke of midnight will cause a miraculous shift that will make all my troubles disappear. I am looking forward to how God will show up when shtuff hits the fan and I need a clean up on aisle 2. I am excited about the ways God will open unexpected doors of opportunity that I will hopefully have the good sense to recognize and walk through. I am thrilled that because He is my Source I won’t need to worry if or when my employment status gets shaky. Finally, I am ready to see what God can do through me. Are you? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Write Fully Yours,
Lady Kavan
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